Happy the Matchmaker
by C. Fictus
Summary: Happy decides to take the love lives of the members of Fairy Tail in his own hands. Or paws.
1. Prologue

**Hey to anybody who's reading this! It's C, just saying thanks for reading and please review! More coming soon!**

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Prologue

Hey, it's Happy the cat here! Actually, it's Happy the Exceed. I'm still getting used to it. I belong to the mage guild Fairy Tail! Fairy Tail is the greatest guild ever! In fact, Fairy Tail might be almost as great as fish! And fish is the greatest thing on earth!

Anyways, back to Fairy Tail. So the other day, I saw Jellal and Erza kissing on a beach. But just when I was about to jump out and start teasing them, Jellal said that he had a fiancé! That was pretty messed up. Then I started thinking about all of the other messed up relationships in Fairy Tail, which is pretty much all of them. So after all that thinking, I realized what Fairy Tail needs is a matchmaker. But not just any matchmaker, it needs me!

Aye. I'm Happy the matchmaker, reporting for duty!


	2. Interviews and Blushes

**Hey guys, I recently found out that there is a fanfic quite similar to this one called Matchmaker Happy. Really sorry to the author of the fanfic, I didn't mean to use your idea. For all the reader people, be sure to check it out. It sounds really interesting! Oh, and enjoy the chapter.**

**-C**

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**Chapter 1**

"What?"

"I asked, what do you like in a man? Or woman, I guess."

"Happy!" Lucy turned bright red. "You know I'm not like that!"

"Sorry, Lucy, but I need that information if I'm going to make a match for you."

"I never asked for a match in the first place!"

"Lucy, you're face is really red."

"Go interview someone else, Happy!"

"Hey Happy! Come over and interview me!" Cana cackled from the other side of the room. She took a swig of wine from her bottle. I headed over, covering my nose.

"Ugh, Cana, your breath stinks!"

"Shaddup, Happy! Do you want to interview me or not?"

I sighed and opened my notebook. "So, what kind of men do you like?"

Cana cackled again. "Ones who can hold their booze! And ones who will buy me a lot of booze! Oh, and handsome, I guess."

"So, basically, you want a rich, handsome alcoholic?"

"That's the idea, Happy!" Cana took another swig from her bottle. "A girl can dream, can't she?" Her smile was almost wistful.

After I had interviewed some other girls, I decided to interview Natsu. Natsu should be able to tell me anything after all. "Naaaastuuu!" I called.

"Wha ish it Happy?" Natsu asked, his mouth full of food.

"What do you like in a woman?"

Natsu didn't say anything until he chewed and swallowed. "Hey Happy, do you want to go fishing?"

I felt my eyes widen. "Natsu, are you trying to change the subject?"

"Noooo….Hey Mira! Can you bring Happy a fish?"

I wanted to ask him another question, but when Mira brought over the fish, I couldn't resist taking a few bites. And then some more bites. By the time I finished, Natsu had disappeared.

"Oh dear," Mira giggled. "Natsu seemed kind of uneasy."

"Aye. By the way Mira, what kind of guy would you want? I've never seen you with anybody before."

Mira blushed. " Really, well there was this one time…" her voice trailed off. "But I guess that was kind of a secret." Her blush deepened.

There was something very curious going on here. As I thought, Fairy Tail romantic relationships were very tangled. Well, that would all change soon.


	3. A Lesson in Matchmaking

I looked at my notebook in desperation. So, I had gotten all this info, but I had no idea how to pair people up? I decided to ask Carla about it.

"Carla, I need to ask you something."

"No Happy, I do not want a fish. Do you hear me? I DO NOT WANT A FISH!" She was even pretty when she was annoyed. That was my Carla, always pretty and mostly irritated.

"No, Carla, I wanted to ask you how to match up these people." I motioned to my notebook. Her face softened.

"Well, let me see what you have so far." She opened my notebook and flipped through it.

**Cana Alberona**

Age: 18

Looking for: Rich Handsome guy who can drink a lot

**Lucy Heartfilia **

Age: 17

Looking for: She refused to tell me anything…

**Evergreen **

Age: 20

Looking for: Strong manly guy who will treat her like a fairy

**Mirajane Strauss**

Age: 19

Looking for: She gave me a fish!

**Levy McGarden**

Age: 17

Looking for: A nice guy who will always stand by me

**Juvia Lockser**

Age: 17

Looking for: Somebody who's not Gray-Sama

**Erza Scarlett **

Age: 19

Looking for: Strong man with a true will to live

"Well Happy, you got more information then I thought you would. But where are the guys?"

I blushed. "Whenever I tried to interview any of them, they would either threaten me or run away…" I shivered. "Never ask Gajeel what he likes in a woman…"

"Wait, why did Juvia say she's looking for someone who's not Gray?" Carla asked, re-examining my notes. "She's been avoiding him lately, too."

"Hey Carla, I have a great idea! Why don't we write the names of some girls and guys on sheets of paper, put them into boxes, and randomly choose them?"

"Happy, you really are the worst matchmaker ever."

I felt my ears droop in disappointment. "What if we put the names in two hats? Would that be any better?"

Carla sighed. "I guess I'll have to help you, since you obviously have no idea what you're doing."

Despite her insults, I was thrilled to be working with her.

"The first thing you have to do when you make a pair is to make sure that the ages are close enough. That way, you can prevent strange pedophilic relationships." She glared at me. "What are you doing, Happy? Stop smiling like that! Sit up straight! Take notes!"

I gulped and nodded.

"Next, you have to see who fits together. See, Bixlow wouldn't go well with Juvia, right? "

I nodded.

"That's because they don't fit together. In fact, that could be the most important thing."

I raised my hand. "How do you know when people fit together?"

Carla's smile was sly. "You spy on them, of course."

"Whaaat?"

Carla sighed again. "You know, follow them around, take notes on what they do. I normally don't involve myself in such foolish activities, but you need all the help you can get. We start tomorrow, okay?"

I wiggled in anticipation. A whole day with Carla was a dream come true.


End file.
